What To Think About People Who Tell You: “You Can’t Do it”

Photo Credit: Kalen Emsley

There must have been a time in your life, when you had a conversation with someone about a goal you would like to achieve, that person looked at you and told you that this was not going to happen and gave you some reasons why he or she  believes that you can’t do it. Often, this reason is simply based on assumptions, common perceptions or stereotypes. Here you are now, back to square one, doubting yourself, because, what if this person is right? Then, you get to the point where you start feeling less anxious about your project, which was the most exciting thing you’ve ever experienced as of this moment you were told that you can’t do it.

If your self-esteem is very low, you might give up the next day, but if you are like me, you might say that you are going to prove that person wrong. You decide instead to explore all the ways to make it possible, you work three times harder, eventually your hard work pays off. Then you become all happy and proud of yourself. Later, you have a moment of reflection, and you think about that person or people who told you couldn’t do it. My question is, do you think these people were against your goal?

I’ve come to find out that although there are people who would like to see you fail, mainly because of envy or jealousy; some people throw these kinds of advice because they do not know any better. They have been brought up in environments that brainwash them so bad that they have lost all kinds of confidence in themselves or the category of people they perceive you to be part of. If they believe they can’t do it, there is no way they would believe you can do it especially if you fit in certain category.

Before you go back to these people and scream “Fuck you, I did it”, if these people are close to you, you should instead analyze their situation, and see the challenges they are already facing that make them think that way. If possible, use your experience as an example to positively shine a light on them. At the end of the day, you might in turn become an inspiration to some people who did not know better and motivate them to reach their own stars.

We live in an era where people can be so judgmental. Plenty of negative vibes are floating around, people can easily be misguided. When you have a goal, you want to achieve before you go ask for that friendly advice, make sure you do your own research, identify who have done it, how they make it happen and how you see yourself getting there. Only then, you will be well equipped to listen to what others think and weigh their advice against what you already know.

In case you miss it. The lesson here is, not everyone who doubted you meant harm. They probably didn’t know better.

Come back to this blog, soon I will publish an article that details the steps you should take to evaluate your ability to make your dream happen before you start seeking advice. Always remember, if you can dream it, you can make it happen, no matter how difficult it may seem, no matter how long it will take. All it takes is for you to believe in yourself first.